Joanna Pudil, LCSW-R
We all have gotten into arguments. I’m sure many times we have regretted them. I know I have. Senator Cory Booker in a TikTok post says “One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever received for well-being is that “You don’t have to attend every argument you're invited to”. You do have the option to RSVP No to an argument. This seems logical, but yet hard to practice at the same time. There is no shortage of annoying people around, so this is a good lesson for all of us.
In Senator Cory Booker’s video, he further goes on to say “Guard your energy. Protect your spirit and emotional resources. Be strategic in who you engage and why. And sometimes, choose to just listen, even if it is just to better learn the arguments of folks who you disagree with. In the end, I have found myself much better off by not always taking the bait to argue with someone who has no intention of sharing ideas in good faith and instead just wants to troll and agitate”.
Before you respond to someone who is trying to start an argument, I want to encourage you to ask yourself “is this worth fighting about? Will this argument get my point across or will it just deplete my emotional well-being?" If the argument will deplete you, RSVP No and walk away, or as Cory Booker says “just listen to them”. Some things are definitely worth fighting for, but not everything. As Senator Cory Booker says “You don’t always have to take the bait!”
I know this is a difficult challenge. I want to always stand up for right and wrong. Ask my kids they are always telling me to leave situations alone. This is hard when I see an injustice happening. Like someone taking up two parking spots and I have a kid on crutches. So, then I have to park farther away, which is harder to navigate on crutches. My son just tells me to leave it alone. As you see my boys are much better at practicing this concept than I am. They are right. In that battle, I’m usually depleting myself instead of changing the other person. So, be like my boys and RSVP No when the situation simply isn't worth your energy and well-being.
As always, I’m here for you.