As I listen to people talk about what is occurring in their lives, I realize that many of them are grieving, but not in the traditional sense. What they are grieving about isn’t the traditional loss of a loved one, but other types of losses in their lives. These other types of losses are not usually associated with grief, but in all actuality, the person is grieving. What are these other types of losses you ask? They are loss of employment, the ending of a relationship or marriage, loss of a person who has begun to change in a way that you don’t recognize them anymore, loss of the type of parent you wish you could have, loss of an opportunity, loss of your home due having to move to another apartment or state not necessarily out of choice and loss of self-identity. For many life isn’t the same as it was pre-pandemic. Their lives have been turned upside down. We are all mourning the loss of the easiness of our lives pre-pandemic.
Why is it when a person passes away, that we allow ourselves the time to mourn and feel the feels? We are given permission to feel sad and process the loss. Yet when we have experienced these other losses, we avoid the feels and try to press on and are expected to just get over it. Why hasn’t society made it more acceptable to acknowledge the significance of these other losses and given permission to feel the feels associated with it? I want to take a moment to give permission to take the time to acknowledge these losses and the feelings associated with them. This process needs to occur so that we don’t get emotionally stuck. This process can be completed with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
Elisabeth Kubler - Ross, the renowned bereavement psychiatrist, said:
“When life puts you through a tumbler, it’s your choice whether you
come out polished or crushed”.
Please take the time to reach out if you or someone you know needs a trusted therapist to help guide them through this mourning process.